My friend Sasha, the author of To-Do List (Fireside, November 2007), routinely solicits and publishes curious lists from strangers on her blog. Last week, she decided to feature the words of wisdom from a group of college juniors who put together a brief guide called "How to be sexy: for men." It ran:
- Accessorize ... once in a while, wear hats, watches, etc.
- Ask girls out!
- Be a gentleman. Open doors for girls. Smell delicious.
- Be a man. Squish bugs. Act brave, even if you're scared.
- Make eye contact, and hold it just a little bit longer than [it] feels comfortable
- Don't be afraid of touch.
Sasha asked, "How would you advise others to be sexy?" So I promptly composed the following list, titled "How to be sexy: for women," and filed it as a comment under her post.
- Be able to banter
- Be playful in public
- Be sultry in private
- Be slutty in the bedroom
- Be the opposite of a prima donna
- Be vulnerable (without being whiny or helpless)
- Be nice to the waitstaff on romantic dinner dates
- Be silly
- Be sweaty
- Be on time
- Be quirky
Why do I have Ali Larter's photo, you ask? Because she's my hero (technically, heroine) and she looks sexy when she sweats. Fair enough?
Posts
19 comments:
Although a girl might not meet those requirements at all times, I don't think you've overshot. I think a lot of girls I know would fit that description.
Well, being sultry only in private would be a hard thing for me, us melancholy Finns just don't have the playfulness of other nations.
We take everything so serious.
But otherwise, it's not an unrealistic list, although I don't know what it means to be slutty in the bedroom. You don't have to be a slut to enjoy sex and make it imaginative and such:)
Here are just a few that come to mind.
-wear nice shoes once in a while. IE not sneakers everyday.
-pay for dinner if you ask her out.
-stop looking at your cell phone, ipod, blackberry, etc. when you are having dinner. Better yet, turn it off.
-have a hobby that does NOT include drink, drugs or the TV.
You haven't overshot at all. I think a lot of women I know meet those descriptions.
Only problem is that putting on paper what you want and actually getting it and wanting that person are two different things.
I've matched every single quality a guy has claimed to want in a woman before, and yet, I didn't do it for him. Sometimes it goes that way you know?
Coconut: Thanks! I won't lose hope then. :-)
Susu: What's the general weather like in Finland? I've been told, in places where winter is longer, the population's mood tend to be more subdued. Actually I wrote "slutty in the bedroom" because I can't think of a good phrase to describe what I really had in mind :-P
Hotpink: All very good additions to the list for men. Thanks! (Powering off my cellphone.)
TC: It's true: I think we should keep in mind that the attributes don't always guarantee attraction. I've also found women who don't have any of the attributes I thought I'd find desirable (well-read, witty, and so on), yet found them to be incredibly appealing. It's a mystery.
It's definitely a mystery...maybe pheremones? Speaking of pheremones, I highly recommend that men wear Armani Acqua Di Gio. It's pretty much amazing.
Ally: Thanks for stopping by! I'll check out Armani's Acqua Di Gio, then. But I notice that the same perfume smells different when worn by two different people. It seems, when it blends with one's body scent, it produces something unique that cannot be duplicated. Well, we can probably credit the pheromones with that too.
Trite as it sounds, it looks like your list is boiled down to "Be a real person." Which I think is a very good thing.
We all sweat. We all get nervous. We all laugh.
Don't be so afraid to show who you really are (within limits, let's not belch the ABCs on the first date -- even though I personally find that very amusing.)
And laugh sincerely. Humor always adds to the situation.
Cardio: Thanks! I think being sexy has more to do with one's attitude and confidence than with one's attire. Being one's self is a great start.
I love your list! I'd liek to think I presonify many of those traits....some better than others! Sexy is just being yourself - that is VERY very sexy to me...
Princess: Thanks! It's hard to be sexy when one isn't comfortable with one's self. So where's your list for men? :-P
Sexy is definitely a frame of mind thing.
This morning, I got up earlier than usual to go to the gym and I caught my reflection in the full length mirror on my landing upstairs and thought "Wow, you look pretty good today." I felt totally sexy. I was just in my underwear (which didn't even match) - no makeup, no effort really.
Other times I can be dressed to the nines, full make up and just think "meh..you'll do".
I thnk it shows through though. If you think sexy, you will be.
I completely agree about the banter thing too - there is nothing sexier than being able to tease someone/be teased without too much of a risk of hurt feelings.
Beth: I've seen your photos on Facebook, so let me just tell you. No full-blooded straight male will look at you and say, "Meh, she'll do." And if you don that leather outfit from your Halloween outing, they're inclined to use superlatives that may be unfit for this public forum.
I think both your lists are great! my fave on Sasha's list is "squish bugs" and my fave on yours is "be on time". Cute!
hahaha.
fun lists, kenneth!!!
i like your list for the ladies. when i find some1 who qualifies, i'll let her know her match is in san fran. haha.
ps: nice blog! i can't believe i just discovered it (from guilty's blog). hehe.
Ruby: I love that too. I've never thought squishing bugs could be sexy, but I learned something new.
Acey: Thanks for stopping by! For the right person, I might be willing to fly overseas. I've been known to act on impulse sometimes ;-)
Oh, how I love your list, especially the bit about waitstaff. That is so true and certainly works both ways.
I would give you my own email address, Kenneth, but I'm already married!
I find it so intriguing that we can have a list and know what we like and yet... chemistry and magic and such don't always play along. It is one of life's great mysteries I think.
This is a wonderful list.
Guilty: The item about the waitstaff is in there because I believe how one treats (or mistreats) those who are not in a position to protest shows his or her character. (Oh, are you getting used to being called Mrs. Subrosa?)
Exception: True, we feel we know what we like, but there are so much about ourselves we don't yet know. :-)
Post a Comment